There once was a man named Joe who faithfully

There once was a man named Joe who faithfully bought a lottery ticket every day. One day Joe's persistence finally paid off and he got lucky!

The numbers were just as he predicted, and Joe immediately went down to the office to rub it in everyone's face. When he arrived

left door, stepping very slowly at first. The further he walked the quicker his feet moved. Where was everybody? And what is that noise? He heard it again and turned around to see

a huge Saint Bernard dog looking directly at him and barking at the same time. The dog was larger than any dog he had seen before. The dog started to wag his tail and walked

The slobber dripped from the dogs mouth like a fat mans forehead on a hot summer day. The boy gently backed away from the beast and started to walk back to his own yard.

Behind the boy loomed a large bear who promptly swiped at the boys neck. The boy fell to the floor his throat opened and blood streaming onto the grass. The dog cocked his leg to

pee on the boy, but found his tennis ball floating in the blood. The dog grabbed the tennis ball and rann out the door with bloody paws. He was met by a police officer who gave him

one of those "pat downs." Being violated like that only emboldened him and the dog started jumping around and snapping in excitement. Blood. Cops. Tennis ball.

I quickly reached for the tennis ball in my pocket and used it to grab the dog's attention. Tossing the ball as far as I could, I watched as the killer dog chase after it. Safe.