He pulled his iPhone from it's holder on

He pulled his iPhone from it's holder on the belt of his pants and looked at the number staring back at him. He'd done it again and he didn't know how he would explain it to her.

He had sat in a puddle of water and the ink was smudged. How would he tell her he wasn't trying to give her the wrong idea. He did want to call her, but not from his iPhone.

That would mean that she would have his number, and by extension, his wife's. Then he remembered the caller id block setting. Flipped it on, and got on with his intended phone sex

which he enjoyed thoroughly. They gasped and said "Oh, God" alot, but then, all of a sudden, they were cut off.

The water at the bottom of The Most Amazing Water Slide In The World engulfed them, cutting off their air supply. Holding their breath, they expected to go back up at any moment,

but the Angry Pirate was holding their legs under water. They could see his gold teeth and he grinned. Bubbles escaped as they screamed. The Angry Pirate brought out his hook and

hung them on it with their laces tied together. They were clean now. The boy felt pretty foolish, screaming like that. Then the Angry Pirate then started a fire under the kettle

and made a spot on pot of tea with the finest Makaibari silver tips. He popped the scones out of the oven, and with honey and clotted cream Pirate and boy enjoyed high tea together

. "I dare say," said the boy, "will be watching the Royal wedding?" The pirate glowered. "I once knew a Kate," he muttered as scone bits powdered his wiry beard. Suddenly, a cannon