I woke up doing math. Pizza might have been

I woke up doing math. Pizza might have been involved. If I order a large pizza should I have them cut it into 4 slices instead of 8? I don't think I can eat 8 slices but I could 4.

My math daydream included probability. I imagined a math teacher explaining a crap game. I snickered at the thought, unable to shake the image of turd-shaped dice from my mind. But

what if the dice were real turds? And ossified, irregular polygons? Each time you rolled the dice a piece might break off altering the probabilities. Truly a crap game! A casino

(a reputable one, that is) would turn up its nose as such a thing. But this was Wild Bill's Buffalo Chips Casino & everyone knew that old Wild Bill didn't take sh*t from anyone.

No Siree Bob! Wild Bill only dealt with a select few suppliers for the casino's buffet. The best-selling buffalo patties were: Microbiota Bonanza, Sriracha Scorcher, and Shroomy Su

se, which is my personal favourite. Yes, Bob you sure do have th- where are you going,Bob?! uh Bob you can't go into the kitchen it's employes only. No not into the mayonnaise cu-

But it was too late. Bob had already gone #3 (1+2) right in the mayonnaise curry, which digested & re-incorporated the waste, so the dish was served anyway and got 2 thumbs up from

a pair of flies that had been sitting on the table, who had a regular YouTube show about fine fly cuisine. Bob's Terribly Tainted Mayonnaise Curry made him a big hit with gourmet

mavens worldwide, who had a running wager as to his secret ingredient. If asked, Bob'd smile modestly & say: "A man has his duty!" It was only when his curry was linked to cases of

dysentery that the officials had to be called. It was not a crime, only a breach of etiquette. All was well. Not like wiping your mouth with your sleeve is the end of the world.