I was a tightrope walker and today, I was

I was a tightrope walker and today, I was walking across the world's deepest hole. Showing off, I was eating Cheetos while doing it. Unfortunately, I fell off. At the bottom, a man

magically healed my broken bones and smashed skull, and went on to sing "It's raining men" for hours. I thanked him, and tried to get out of the crater. I found a little passage

that led me to a back-alley arms dealer. I bought an RPG and carefully concealed by strapping it on my back. As I left the alley, policemen started pursuing me and I escaped into a

dark alley. I removed the Role-Playing Game off my back. It was a rare Tunnels and Trolls first edition from 1976. Why an arms dealer would have one was anyone's guess.

On the other hand, now that I had it, I was as happy as a... What's a good metaphore... a bee with a flower? No... A dog with a bone? No.... A

warm gun. I was bursting, just bursting! I took

a deep breath, counted to three, then sprinted for the restroom. I didn't make it; the unfortunate

thing is that I was in a bakery because

I could smell the sweat coming off the employee's clothes and aprons. They were covered in flour and a mysterious brown powder, which turned out to be just

that: prismatic powder along with meaty particles. The kitchens oven was filled with it, & when it combusted the fiery explosion launched a meatloaf at them like a bat out of hell.