We had left in rather a hurry, the clouds

We had left in rather a hurry, the clouds we getting darker and its was soon to. The building in the distance looked liked the best option for shelter.

Sparkling fairy dust flew down in a hail over the street. I got to the door way just in time. My friend John wasn't so lucky. He transformed in a strobing hot-pink flash into

a fairy, too. You think vampires, werewolves and zombies are a problem? Nobody wrote mounds of fiction warning of transformation into tiny winged ballet dancers. Fairies flooded

the bathroom again after backing up the commode with their flippin' fairy feces. I'd much rather deal with an undead bloodsucker than have to plunge out fairy fecal matter for the

low wages they pay me. One of these days I'll show them. One of these days I'll rise above cleaning up this crap and make something of myself. In fact, right now I'm going

to the university of phoenix online to get my degree in criminal forensic investigation. Then my awesomeness will be totally known by all the boot lickers in this town because

I will be so totally awesome and smart and they will all be dumb and boorish and slack-jawed. Haha ha haha! I am the great Derek! You are so dumb, and I am an incredible genius!

So I went and took my smug, egotistical, self centered, pompous ass for a walk. All around me stared and marvelled at my genius and wisdom, one even knelt before me

and asked where did you get the wisdom to use leather suspenders to hold your socks up? Cool looking but if you sit down and cross your legs everything gets tangled up; even your