Tis a bad start to your day when even your

Tis a bad start to your day when even your own demons refuse to speak to you. Seriously, what an attitude these lost souls have! Spawn of hell my ass! They're like spoiled emo

goth barristas from the Starbucks night shift trying too hard to maintain their darkness while spooning whip onto a mint mocha half-caff frappuccinos. The Michael Buble didn't help

in his half-spent caffeinated stupor in placating the Starbucks holiday customers. No, the gingerbread, half-calf, vente, skinny latte would

would be lame like all the other ones. What he really wanted was a fight. He wanted to tell the "overworked" housewives of the world to stop pretending to be busy.

The union workers to quit sniveling. The teachers to stop whining about testing. He thought that maybe, just maybe, he could die "death by ACLU" if he threw caution to the wind.

He sure knew that would make her see her memories of him in a more red white and blue light. and he would go back to being one of the the stars in her eyes. Him and Obama together.

He weaved the flag like never before. Gold thread, a bit of silver for pizazz and a whole lot of blue fabric. It was truly majical. When he showed it to her

her face lit up like a 4th of July Grand Finale and she ran to her closet. She returned with an identically weaved flag and then they knew. They made passionate love until

for the 800lb. gorilla in the room, who was not satisfied and still demanded payment. So they went back to making love, for it was all they had to give.