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Car airbags kill 1 person for every 22 lives

  • Car airbags kill 1 person for every 22 lives that they save.

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  • This is caused by the pressure placed on the nose, disforming it, and people die of embarassament

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  • Then it spreads and slowly their friends noses begin deforming.

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  • Everyone looked like Voldemort's doppelgänger.

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  • It was like being in one of those Mirror Mazes... full of Voldemorts! Each newly Voldemortified person looked at the others and screamed. It was deafening. Don Rickles came barging

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  • in with blonde pickles. "Be gone!" He shouted, and all the Voldemorts outed. The sacred cucumbers was pickled in River Humber, flowing holy water against all dark matters.

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  • Their plans were all in tatters. The original Voldy looked fatter. Holy pickles, Batman! Robin summoned Peter Piper , who in turn called on Peter Parker. Spidey senses

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  • tingling. The Charismatic Quintuplet let out a whoop! They would have to knit sweaters of doom instead. Voldy, Batman, Robin, Peter Piper, and Peter Parker as Spiderman jumped

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  • Onto the rooftop at 1853 W. Belmont, where a punk club was located. A local band called Jaded Beliefs was playing every Wednesday night. They had their own label, "F--k Off", which

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  • really offended me. I had never appreciated punk as genre anyway. I climbed back onto my donkey, and we took off, flying high above the rooftops before colliding with a plane.

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