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-Floss more, -Eat less red meat, -Work less,

  • -Floss more, -Eat less red meat, -Work less, -Work out more, -Watch more porn, -See more of Grandma, -Not at the same time, -Spend time in a foreign country, -Stain the deck, -Play
  • with knives, -Join the Navy, -Instigate jihad, -Remember the Alamo, -Forget your past, -Call your monkey, -Live for yesterday, -Give bad advice, -Buy organic, -Make a list, -Smell
  • the Navy, -Instigate the Alamo, - Forget your monkey, - Call yesterday, - Give organic knives, -Live for... Wait a minute. I'm all mixed up! Can we start again? OK. -Tickle your
  • monkey, - Spank your knife, - Instigate yesterday, - Forget the Navy, - Live for the Alamo, - Call organic, -Turn your head & laugh, -Cough like no one's watching, -Dance till the
  • breakfast of champions. Dirk started to wonder whether advertising was really his field. He sometimes mixed his metaphors and some of his slogans seemed a little *off*.
  • Like the "A taste as big as your backside" fiasco. But right now he had to keep his job and come up with a slogan for navy beans. Aren't they really gassy? Who'd want that anyway?
  • 'Make your gassy sassy gravy wavy with navy beans!' He was made Account Manager for the whole of the ex-Warsaw pact countries for that slogan. Folks in Minsk fought in the aisles
  • for the last can of gassy sassy navy gravy beans. It was the gold rush of the East. There were so many rumors about western goods to take advantage of! His company sold polaroids
  • of people smelling bad gas. These polaroids blasted off and became a his because so many people had eaten the cans of gassy sassy navy gravy beans. The fetid photos blew the lid of
  • the conspiracy and brought out the bean counters who promptly erected methane farms. It was a gas for those guys and they celebrated by cutting the cheese. Repeatedly.
Started
2014-08-07 13:32:57
Finished
2014-12-30 11:35:37

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Dec 31 2014 @ 17:15

    Didn't the navy develop a ship that skippers the oceans running on excrement? Did it also capture gas?
  2. Avatar

    zxvasdf Jan 01 2015 @ 08:58

    Wasn't the boarding fee a bowl of beans to be eaten?

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