"Shit neva go down da way ya like it", the

"Shit neva go down da way ya like it", the old man mused, taking another bite of Bill's torso. "Bacon do taste good, do taste good though."

That's when Shantae Copperdale walked in, PI and certified MILF. The old man was clearly delusional, muttering something about the third little piggy while munching on a severed

pig's ear. "What can I do for you?" Shantae said in that husky voice that makes me melt when I hear it. I marveled at how she managed to whip out her 9mm while wearing 6-inch heels

I leaned into Shantae even as the muzzle of her gun pressed against my ribs, and my lips brushed her ear when I whispered, "How many millimeters is six inches, anyway?"

Her finger tightened on the trigger. "About 150..." she purred in a faintly Gallic accent. Her face wrinkled slightly. "Why this sudden interest in the metric system?" Distracted,

i just was looking an video in the IPhone. Then i noticed a big bang. Shit.

The universe had just come into existence. And I missed it. All because I was watching a video of a rapping cat on my damned IPhone.

I wasn't going to tolerate that. With a snap of my awesome fingers, I destroyed the universe. I may have heard billions of souls cry, but nothing would stop me from watching

those Canadians become but an infinitely small speck in cosmic nothingness.

At that point I realized, those canadians, no matter how strong or powerful they are, can never force anyone to do thier bidding again. They are stuck in the endless void of space.