It was 3 am in the morning, i woke up and

It was 3 am in the morning, i woke up and i was hungy. I went to kitchen and just when i was about to make a sandwich, i heard a knock on my doar.

I swing open the door to find Luke grinning at me childishly. "Can I help you?" I drawl sardonically and my stomach gurgles from hunger frustration. "I just wanted to check on you.

He said. I gave him a sidelong glare before closing the door. But of course, he knocked again.

Again I opened the door. "Look," I said to him, "We don't want any religion. We're heathens. Religion is against our religion. So beat it!" and I slammed the door in his face.

Suddenly, I felt like a heel, and swung open the door and shouted, "Wait! Don't. . ." But before I could find the strength to shout "Go!" I realized that he was urinating on my

doorstep. I felt a surge of warmth...he was marking ME as his turf! "Oh, Darling..." I hugged him, ignoring the pee drizzling on my stockings. "You stupid cow!" he sputtered "I was

pissing on you because you were on fire. I should have let you burn. All these years, I've had to endure you pulling on my utters, and feeding me grass. do you want to eat grass? I

think your gonna eat some grass. Tell Bessie "Please make me eat grass!" "Mrphhmrph.." "Now spit it out! I wanna see some cud!" "Puutuuh ack." "Now I think Farmer Joe needs milking

How cows in India had gone on strike. They were now sacred. Bessie texted an Indian farmer and sent her resume. Farmer Joe and his family treated her like the Queen she was.