Looking for a good time? Here, take this

Looking for a good time? Here, take this giant stick and whack that miniature ball waaay over there into that tiny hole. Good, good. Now try it with a BAC of 2.4 and a huge lake in

front of the windmill. Drive a cart erratically into the birthday boy's group at Hole 4. Take a leak in the mini waterfall. Even a child-sized club can ward off employees when they

are looking for a po' boy sandwich. Battle of club sandwich against the po' boy. So it's time that we hold a Sandwich Battle royale right here at this Minature Golf Course!

They got together their sauces, breads and other ingredients and lined up in their tweed buttoned up jackets. The golf clubs sat idly by. "Ladies, *ahem* gentlemen, today

the killing of our greatest adversary..." Silence fell, yet you could almost hear the crowd shaking with anticipation of the words to come booming through the sound system " THE

POWERS THAT BE!!! Hereby, we declare WAR on them!" The crowd cheered at this unexpected announcement. I worked myself through the mass of people towards the podium.

The massed humanity was so trifurcated it belched in unison when the Shark Lady stood up. Shark Lady had 300 teeth, ready to bite her enemies. Steven Spielberg hired her for Jaws X

(the adult version) but Shark Lady proved to be a temperamental actress and her steadily increasing list of demands broke the budget. Spielberg tried to get out of the contract by

eating a spoonful of pure cinnamon powder, which his lawyers told him would totally work and he should try it. It did not work. Shark Lady went on to win the movie rights.