On my death bed I begged not to die. I wouldn't

  • On my death bed I begged not to die. I wouldn't see the ending to "Breaking Bad." I would never see "The Hobbit", "Avengers Assemble," or "Person of Interest." So much in life!
  • But my atrophic body couldn't keep up with my active mind. As I reached for the mouse to log into Netflix, my arm shrunk into nonexistence. "At least I still have my personality."
  • But, to tell the truth, my personality felt as withered as my body at the moment. Thinking alone in a room only got one so far, right? I needed to get out into the world,
  • so I burrowed my way out the last meter of the tunnel. The daylight was fading, but still glaring to my under stimulated eyes. Thirst. Need water. Where could I get a
  • cactus? Those prickly fuckers are filled with water! Just then, I had a flash of brilliance - the desert! There are cacti in the desert! This was my smartest plan yet. I made my
  • way from the wastelands of east L.A,. through San Bernadino, until I reached Death Valley. I will show those cacti what it means to mess with a thirsty hippie intent on finding
  • the Snapple I was sure I had buried somewhere in the Park during a typical peyote-induced haze. I remembered a Joshua Tree that looked like a man so I took a sharp left and hit
  • the very tree I was looking for. Funny, from that angle it looked like a woman. You know, in the middle east it's referred to as a "Julanar Tree". Wonder how it got that name.
  • Wonder how anyone could stay awake during your little milky factoid speeches. He passed out information like Vegas flyers. So what if the tree looks like a woman you horny fool
  • it's endangered.Your mating attempt at the botanical garden was public indecency. I find you guilty. Due to your injuries from mating with the key tree cactus, no fines are needed.


  1. SlimWhitman Oct 02 2011 @ 10:39

    Haha! Managed to complete the prickly circle of life again. ;-)

  2. Zetawilk Nov 26 2011 @ 02:34

    Haha! Managed to once again drop a detail only to have it resurface several folds later. It's like Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors around here!

  3. m80 May 28 2013 @ 12:26

    Just found this story in FoldingStory Illustrated Vol. 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKxoqFpM4AA

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