I propose that we pool our risk and enter

  • I propose that we pool our risk and enter a contract of utmost good faith underwritten with my heart.
  • "My large heart will serve as the bait for the swift piranha-like jaws of the mutant octopus, this may be the only chance for any of you to escape alive."
  • Shelley cut my heart out and called to the mutant octopus. "Over here big fella!" he couldn't resist and followed it into the isolation tank, which locked with a click. Luckily I
  • had a policy for that & called my agent. "Dudley,I need to make a claim on my mutant octopus policy. Yeah, send an adjustor over!" Shelley glared at me. I laughed in her ugly face.
  • It wasn't the kindest thing to do, but Shelley was used to strange looks. My reaction didn't seem to phase her. Several tentacles parted, and Shelley plunged into the deep blue
  • green reds of heartbreak that almost always results from a trans-dimensional cross species love affair. I had too many tentacles for her parent's liking and Shelley had too many
  • riders on her term insurance policy. Her rate was astronomical. There was no way I was hitching my horse to those premiums. I drew a line in the sand and told Shelley "Look, it's
  • about 4 miles to Broketush Ridge. Grant's cavalry will approach it from" -I drew an 'x'- "here. My only hope, Shelley, are your life insurance policies. Can I pay in horsemeat?"
  • "I don't care what you wear, just as long as I get my money," said Shelley, adjusting his confederate army hat indignantly. My horsemeat hat had begun to rot and I had to throw it
  • In the trash or offer it to Shelley for tonight's dinner. Shelley ate my hat and gave me the same fedora worn by Brian Jones. Brian himself blessed the hat he once wore!


  1. SlimWhitman Feb 28 2017 @ 17:44

    Giving meaning to the expression, "If my insurance agent pays for the mutant octopus attack, I'll eat my hat".

  2. Rebbie Mar 01 2017 @ 17:34

    I have to send this to my insurance agent. Lol!

  3. lucielucie Mar 04 2017 @ 02:55

    One of the finest insurance/mutant octopus tales we have written so far!

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!