This morning when I dropped a deuce in the

  • This morning when I dropped a deuce in the bowl I could smell our sex from last night. The yeasty moistness that your snapper gummed on my bumpy pole really made me

  • loose. The vodka shifted my perception & I waited a second for the rest to exit before I pulled my belt-loops up, prepared for another go She was snoring, but she liked surprises

  • So I decided to show her my pill bottle collection. What could be more surprising than that? The only thing she could say was

  • "but these are all over-the-counter medication for menopause. Aren't you a little young for this and a bit short on X chromosomes?" At that point I confessed to her that

  • I combined them with certain house chemicals in a homemade still to make the best Gin this side of the Miss'ipi. Because of my age, I could only sell it through

  • my geriatric homies. We had the toughest gang in the retirement center! Plus one of our gang "Ole clear eyes" could still see good enough to drive at night. We did drive by Moons!

  • With Ole Clear Eyes at our side, we were the night terror of Peace Palms Retirement. White-haired men and ladies alike 'donated' jell-o to our group in exchange for

  • denture gum and tennis balls for their walkers. It was the perfect plan that we had hatched. On the night of January 3rd we would go ahead and

  • march upon the mini malls, chewing brains and smashing windows left and right with our canes. We got a little carried away when we chased people with scooters, but it got worse

  • when the Sunshine Valley Nursing Home offered their zimmer frames in the hopes we would spare them. And, as you know, offering a zimmer frame is the highest form of insult.



  1. kayleetam Sep 16 2011 @ 16:40


  2. ChucksterAce Sep 17 2011 @ 01:46

    You geriatric fools are COOL! Want to buy some slightly used tennis Ball sliders?

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