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I dated a girl once by the name of Debbie

  • I dated a girl once by the name of Debbie Teeth who went by the nickname Spooky Tooth. Seems that I broke her heart, so she busted my jaw, and I had to eat my food through a straw.
  • Soon after, I bought myself an electric skateboard, took a cross-country trip to Utah, and married three women...all named Crystal. Then I started drinking heavily.
  • Not sure when my Kool-Aid problem got out of hand. Perhaps when I drank 30L without spilling on my white shirt. Whatever the case, I needed distraction from my 3 nasty wives.
  • Nasty Wife #1 suggested I go jump off a cliff. Nasty Wife #2 had already left me for another man more capable of drinking Kool-Aid without burping. Nasty Wife #3, well, she was
  • n't really nasty, she just left me because I was so grumpy about Nasty Wives #1 and 2. Wife #3 was kind and understanding, but smelled a bit off since I never paid the water bills.
  • But it's Wives #5 and #6 I really miss. They never said a word to vex me, although I did have their tongues removed so I guess the credit is due back to me.
  • However, do not speak of Wife #7. She has done terrible awful things. The most awful of which being: Seven ate Nine.
  • Wife #10 isn't my wife yet. She is only ten right now. I have a few years to wait for the marriage. Everything is in order and the whole temple knows we're betrothed. I doubt I'll
  • stop at 10. But I've got a few years to plan. Maybe wife #11 will be a really cool robot. But wife #12 should be from the temple again to keep them happy. To fulfill the prophecy
  • i will have to find wife #13, a demonic behemoth who will ultimately bring an end to the cycle by consuming the blood in my body up tothe last drip.Only then will my wifes be free.
Started
2015-09-26 21:54:16
Finished
2020-05-04 07:09:11

6 Comments

  1. Avatar

    KieferSkunk May 04 2020 @ 17:33

    Way to carry the theme, guys. :)
  2. Avatar

    LordVacuity May 04 2020 @ 22:40

    I don't know if I'm married to it.
  3. Avatar

    Woab May 05 2020 @ 17:35

    I think that Debbie Teeth really dodged a bullet when she broke up with this guy instead of marrying him.
  4. Avatar

    Woab May 07 2020 @ 17:21

    Hey! The Debbie Teeth story made it to 100 likes! Dingdingding! Congratulations, fellow folders!
  5. Avatar

    KieferSkunk May 15 2020 @ 14:53

    Most popular story on the site for this period in time! And now with a dramatic reading by yours truly. :) https://voca.ro/1HUJZPju9Np
  6. Avatar

    Flopp May 16 2020 @ 08:43

    Great hearing you narrate KieferSkunk, very dramatic indeed

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