I was walking along the garden path when

I was walking along the garden path when I heard a cry for help. I looked around but couldn't see anything. Then I saw this tiny little box. Could it be coming from this small

box? I sat there and looked at the box. It was decorated in a very pleasing manner, really made the most out of being a box. The cries coming from inside the splendid box sounded

small and childish and I mused as I put the box on the counter. I really shouldn't be doing this. I really shouldn't . But that has never stopped me before.

The storekeeper eyed me suspiciously but accepted my money. I hurried home with the box. Strange chirping sounds were coming from inside. Bobby would never know.

I hopped up the stairs two at a time, ran into my room and closed the blinds. Smiling to myself, I opened the box. In it was a nest of baby robins. I'd been swindled! Bobby knocked

on the door wanting his two teeth back. I demurred: he hadn't even flossed before losing them to the end of the pool cue. "I've no sympathy for careless dental hygiene," I blurted.

And that's when the dentist slapped me with a dental dam. I dropped the pool cue on my midget girlfriend's head. The dentist threw a drink

-ing straw at my narrowly opened mouth and yelled, "Buckets!" It went straight in, but it was one of those crazy bendy straws, so it got all tied up in my

esophagus, and when I finally swallowed it it kept poking the fundus of my stomach kicking off my acid reflux AGAIN, and reminding me that straws are meant to be

Inserted up nostrils or into ears. On the other hand, I was now known as the human donut when the straw's non-biodegradable material expanded in my body. Now I do freak shows.