In the golden years before the leash laws,

  • In the golden years before the leash laws, Pagliacci, Schatzi and Pepe were out out their evening cat patrol, when the big black poodle picked up the scent of a bitch

  • in' new Camaro. Schatzi the Big Black Poodle had always wanted to drive a Camaro. But Pepe and Pagliacci had told him, "We have no opposable thumbs." One night, while marking their

  • territory after a hard night of drinking (dump puddles make the best piss)), Schatzi spied a Camero -- w/hand controls. "Look! No need for thumbs!" Pepe was skeptical. "What if

  • the car breaks down, and I need to hitch a ride?" Schatzi couldn't imagine that and said, "A Camaro? Break down?" Schatzi would've kept going, but Pepe put on the brakes.

  • We parked the car and had it towed. Now its June 2016 and we know we made the right choice to abandon it. We now have a 1991 Jaguar. It is much better.

  • However the Jaguar has trouble starting occasionally. I mean it is a 1991 model. We are thinking of buying that Buick from John's brother.

  • He is a good guy and I will be a good driver. I am using the same glasses and I will be a good chaperone to John McCain. The other

  • passenger was unnamed in my instructions but I recognized her as Connie Francis, a nightclub singer. I had seen her act the previous summer at a Newark Howard Johnsons. Blindfolded

  • though the audience was, they could still see that Connie was a no-talent hack bound to end up as a truck stop lot lizard. Still, there was just, something, about her. I grabbed Co

  • lorado and put it in Oregon's place. That looked better. Now, Connie might have a chance of winning, since everyone knew Colorado was the truck stop lot lizard capitol. Connie bett



  1. sharklover Sep 15 2016 @ 21:28

    Sorry, meant to delete that last "Connie bett." Just ignore it please

  2. LordVacuity Sep 16 2016 @ 00:55

    The real Connie Francis was raped at a Howard Johnsons. She sued them, won and caused drastic changes to how almost all hotels and motels did business in the United States. There were rumors that she and John McCain might have dated.

  3. SlimWhitman Sep 19 2016 @ 17:49

    Who's sorry now?

  4. LordVacuity Sep 19 2016 @ 21:25

    The one with Lipstick on their collar.

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