Finished Folds (1—20)
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2If it weren't for the fact that I hate leftovers, I would have eaten the squirrel, maggots and all. But I knew if I stayed focused and kept moving toward the gargantuan green
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1using nothing but a harmonica and a pair of cymbals. The piece's crescendo nearly caused the piper's ears to bleed, so he was almost relieved when the hydra turned into a pig and
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4I didn't have to say it, but I did anyway, and I think I almost meant it, too. She looked back at me with an emotional cocktail of surprise and gratitude and something like
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4territory after a hard night of drinking (dump puddles make the best piss)), Schatzi spied a Camero -- w/hand controls. "Look! No need for thumbs!" Pepe was skeptical. "What if
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2The early spring had caused everything to come up too fast and blossom all stunted and misshapen. The buds simply didn't have time to form before bursting open. "Quasimodo" came to
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3"Oh, sure," Max grunted, "easy for you. You've never spent one minute in a zombie brothel, much less an hour trying to sort out what's left over after a
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2trying to unjam his stapler. Tammy tried to act casual. "So, um, have there been issues with the copier? Like ones a crow might notice?" Andy didn't even look up. "Buzzards don't
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3ydrogen?" Bill stared at her for a moment in disbelief. She'd not only taken him seriously but literally. "No looks, no talent, AND no brains... Get outta here, kid." She pouted,
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4did I really just write that on my resume? In charcoal?" She looked. She had. She smiled with false cheer and waited for the next lame question from the interviewer. "If you could
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0There she was. Wentl. A perfect little O of green fur, her tail wrapped demurely around her pink, scaly nose. Dgorf didn't want to wake her, so he
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4Rain puddles. What glorious, gloomy, gloppy ways to celebrate autumn! And *that* one looked like one of the gloppiest best. Sinjohn burst into a sprint, gathering himself to leap
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4If I had to hear one more fart joke from the backseat, I thought I might abandon the car. Not that I didn't find them funny, but it'd been going on for a solid 40 minutes, and now
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7"Hey, I know..." I hated when she started a sentence with those words. Trouble would soon follow, I knew. Almost as bad was, "I was wondering..." I drew a deep breath and waited.
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3But, to tell the truth, my personality felt as withered as my body at the moment. Thinking alone in a room only got one so far, right? I needed to get out into the world,
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5Okay, maybe goals 1 & 2 were entwined. Lunch would be easier to eat, after all, if my arms weren't securely tied by the straight-jacket restraints. I grunted. Stupid lawyers, they
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4groping. Who had left her here on this shelf? Some demented Pygmalion lacking the nerve to bring her to life? I wondered if I had the nerve, if I could love her to life. Would she
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4His tongue flicked out at a stray ant on the countertop. He munched it as the caller continued. "It could be crucial to the case." Like this yahoo knew about cases. Or kidnappers.
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2closet to find a different shoe. Maybe a Birkenstock sandal would discourage me from kicking at furniture. I didn't think so. I was pissed. I mean, really, what kind of idiot
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2"buzz off," but her body said "you'll do" as she got up and waited for me to follow. I guzzled both drinks, rather than waste them. I mean, with attitude like that, I was going to
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0Damn, she looked good. I wondered if she'd taste as good later. I felt a little warm spot starting in my crotch. Had I been Heff, I'd worry I'd just peed myself. Lucky me, I wasn't