Canada, where a good warm winter parka is

  • Canada, where a good warm winter parka is 1000$ , and what was once affordable for the middle class is now financial suicide for most: i.e. owning a house, hard wood furniture, qua
  • lity 12 piece china dining sets and swimming pools. Most Canadians are now having to survive on only having the basics such as a small hot tub, enamel dinnerware, MDF furniture and
  • small substandard moose skin rugs with the antlers missing. O how my heart goes out to those unhappy Canadians! If I could wrap all the Canadians in the world into a big bosomy hug
  • I would, but being a moose still in possession of skin & antlers & having no bossom to speak of, I leave that task to others. I decided to stand in the road to edify the Canadian
  • drivers. "Steer clear of the deer here. Our numbers are dwindling." I'm not sure whether they understood me, but when the Canadians saw a talking moose they veered off the road.
  • "Shit, the moose are working with the deer, one of the Canadians bellowed as he stumbled out of the car. "Shit, Shit," we made a mad dash across the snowfields, not stopping to
  • enjoy a six-pack of Molson's that the moose and deer had left in the snow for us as a trap. We decided to climb some tall pines to escape them. We heard their hoofbeats and could
  • n't decide what was worse: being trampled to death or pass up the opportunity to blare "I am Canadian". True to our heritage, we abandoned the Molsons & ran for the nearest tree
  • house Tim Hortons. We ordered poutine & American sweet iced tea. McKensie mainlined some maple syrup & went on a mental walkaboot while I bided my time watching some stripper stick
  • paint remover instructional videos. It was a painfully slow process. By the time we finished watching, the poutine was long gone and it was time for breakfast. What a day!


  1. SlimWhitman Dec 07 2017 @ 17:42

    Canada from start to finish.

  2. IceSquad Dec 07 2017 @ 19:27

    Molson's next slogan, Slim.

  3. lucielucie Dec 09 2017 @ 17:35

    My offer still stands, Canadians.

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