King "Buddy" Tut admired the handiwork of

King "Buddy" Tut admired the handiwork of his people: the stately cheesecake pyramid he had decreed, with a border of palm fronds and candy crocs. But cheesecake fundamentalists de

flee to his Nilefront sandcastle. Staying meant death by chocolate tuxedo cream cheesecake. Tempting. Buddy Tut wanted to outlive that other Tut guy; he mounted his royal scorpion

. All the Egyptian rulers had giant scorpions as lovers which made 69 very painful. Buddy Tut released all his inner tension on the scorpion and then thought about tomorrow.

Tomorrow was the third missed deadline on his very own Buddy Tut mini pyramid. Buddy'd whipped his slaves like a madman but they were way behind. What he needed was a workaround; a

ll he'd gotten so far was a runaround. Buddy Tut needed someone to step in and take control to finish the job in a timely manner, so he called his brother, Tutankhamun.

When Tut arrived, the brothers embraced and proceeded through a lengthy hand jive routine. Then Buddy Tut frowned. "I'm in a rut, Tut. We're behind on the contract. I need you to

Play King Tut for visitors to Giza and the Pyramids while I help tourists climb them. They cannot climb pyramids wearing flip flops and short shorts, there is a dress code enforced

, and we constructed a park store and changing rooms for that very purpose. There were always a few visitors who forgot the rules. I raised my royal scepter prop and said

"Anyone using the store as a potty will be deported. We are not amused." Looking back, I suppose that wasn't a wise proclamation, but I did wind up with time to hear myself think.