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The bear slowly unzipped the tent and peered

  • The bear slowly unzipped the tent and peered inside. A wide-eyed couple peered back. He cleared his throat and asked, "Do you have any honey lozenges? Sore throat." The commercial

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  • -ized nature of the wide-eyed couple forced them to answer the bear. "They said, Riiiiicoooolaaaah." The bear pawed through their knapsack and found the little lozenges. Opening

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  • the box & scarfing down half. Then the bear spat them out. "Eww!! Green Tea flavor. Don't you have "Honey Herb?". The campers rolled their eyes. "Cut cut cut!!" said the director.

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  • The director was angry at the bear, but could not fire him, for you see he was in love. He just walked up to the bear and said hey there beautiful, would you like to go out tonight

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  • ? The bear stared the foolish director down, and then swatted at his face. "Oh GOD!" the director screamed as the gashes on his face started to

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  • spray blood all over the set. The bear roared once more then, shambled through the food service table and burst through the exit. Actors and techs screamed, and only Jennifer knew

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  • how to communicate with the diseased animal. She was some sort of bear whisperer after all, so once animal control finally trapped the beast, the director sent Jen

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  • into its cage armed only with one of those big foam rubber hands with a raised index finger. Jen stroked the diseased bear's chin with the finger, cooing "Don't You Want Me Baby."

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  • The bear approached her, smelling her intently. Then he raised on its hind legs, growling furiously. Jen made a scared step back. Then she realised the problem. Her breath stank.

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  • Stank of porridge. She tried to run, but the bear's claws tangled in her golden tresses & her mask was ripped off, revealing "Jen's" true identity: Pee Wee Herman. God's truth.

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