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Dmitri worked his way up from petty trollage

  • Dmitri worked his way up from petty trollage to head of an internet crime syndicate with spoofing, skimming, & phishing. Little did the syndicate know "Fat cat" really was a cat
  • . Admittedly, they thought that sending the profit to an offshore tuna cannery was odd. Dmitri purred as he broke into Play Station's network. Cats like playing with dead things.
  • But he had a Euro Trash name and that's why he liked these cliche'd villainous maxims. Dmitri liked to think of himself as a Jean Claude Van Damme 2.0 and
  • even though he couldn't do the splits, hit with any power, or make panties drop with a smirk, he more than made up for that with reckless enthusiasm. Dmitri walked right into the
  • lab and began organizing chemical elements into the periodic table. D. Mendeleev's sudden fame and acclaim led to his transformation from science coot to Russian sex symbol.
  • He quickly stopped all his scientific work and started exclusively pursuing his now lucrative modeling career, becoming vapid and uninteresting nearly overnight.
  • But when people saw him, they would spontaneously say, "Sartoum", by which they meant that arresting living beauty which stops time. Maybe his scientific career was not over. He
  • vowed to quit his job working as a comment troll for the Koch Bros. and return to science, his first love. But first, he had to
  • make good on his promise to deliver the package for Alfie. He met up with a man known only as "Earl" at the Golden Panda Chinese Buffet & slipped it to him, along with a fortune co
  • okie that read: Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now. On the back were lotto numbers and a phrase in Chinese. Earl wondered what it all meant.
Started
2011-06-19 12:21:46
Finished
2013-08-01 23:50:08

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    PurpleProf Aug 01 2013 @ 23:56

    Dmitri, the mysterious & handsome Russian cat scientist...selling secrets to the Chinese. Love this story!
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Aug 18 2013 @ 10:57

    Dmitri's small time 'pet'ty crime origins... http://foldingstory.com/scxwc/

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