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Shelly left for work every morning at 6:00

  • Shelly left for work every morning at 6:00 am. She always put on her shoes, before grabbing her keys, and driving to work. This morning was different however,
  • because she drove to work before putting on her shoes. Her colleagues gave her funny looks as she walked barefoot through the office.
  • Fortunately (or unfortunately) Shelly was absentminded enough to not notice them staring at her naked toes, but instead was humming the tune to
  • "Footloose." He only stared harder at Shelly's defenseless, naked toes. Didn't she notice all her shoes had gone missing? Or that her socks were stretched out of shape? The humming
  • bird tried to extract nectar from Shelly's ear.She was so sweet, he realized. Like a flower.A naked flower with no shoes.He suddenly realized what they meant by "birds & the bees."
  • Shelly started to stir and swatted at the bird. "What is that annoying feeling by my ear?" she thought as she tried to move her hand. "Why am I naked?" Her thoughts were fuzzy as
  • saw herself justify the question by getting naked. Was she naked simply because she questioned being naked? Her nakedness took on a more sinister tone. The little bird told her Der
  • -Der it was too lumpy, and advised her to put her clothes back on. Smart bird, even though I have no idea what it is talking about. But she ignored the bird and traipsed about in
  • the nude, her lumpy butt sloshing about like a pan of unset lemon Jell-O with bananas. BAM! Stunned, the woman turned to see the bird on its back, dead from self-inflicted gunshot.
  • “Great, that bird was worth a FORTUNE and he had to go off himself!” Hoping to recoup her loss, she took the bird to a taxidermist. She got only a few bucks for the finished mount.
Started
2015-02-12 15:05:33
Finished
2020-04-25 09:40:26

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Jimbeau Apr 25 2020 @ 13:00

    I fear that bird suicides might be the next pandemic.
  2. Avatar

    Woab Apr 26 2020 @ 14:56

    Some days it just doesn't pay to go to work naked.
  3. Avatar

    Jimbeau Apr 26 2020 @ 18:23

    I don't know, Woab, there could be some money in it. Here, in America, people will pay a buck to see just about anything. Your success depends on how well you market your goods (I am assuming your goods are ample enough to be successful in a competitive market).
  4. Avatar

    LordVacuity Apr 26 2020 @ 22:15

    “I’ll buy that for a dollar!”
  5. Avatar

    Woab Apr 27 2020 @ 14:05

    A dollar? Puh-leez, I have my pride. That'll be $1.25 in all quarters, so I can use the laundromat.

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