This was it. I walked right into my hot boss's

This was it. I walked right into my hot boss's office, closed the door, and said "I need a rise and I need it now". She looked up, stole a quick glance at my crotch, and

she said, "XYZ PDQ." I hadn't heard that since the third grade. I quickly turned and adjusted my fly."About the rai..." My boss went back to playing minesweeper. "You may go."

That night I had nightmares about open zippers and minesweeper. I had to find a way to get my boss to give me that raise. I came up with an ingenious plan. I would go to work dress

-ed as a giant stalk of broccoli. He would think i was so creative that he would not only give me a raise, but give me the golden

boot that he had hidden somewhere in the palace but first I had to find out where it was. I didn't have a clue so the only way I could find out was to sleep with him and his

cross-eyed footman. They were dastardly lovers and really put me through the wringer. Afterwards I finally asked, "So where the hell is this hidden boot?" The King slapped me and

ready to set up a bunk bed. "I call top bunk," He said. The King didn't know that I was only befriending him so I could kill him in his sleep. I didn't slay him that night because

I wasn't in a kingslayer mood & besides I was totally distracted by his snoring. The deep tuba-like snort, the kazoo-like sputter, & the high pitched picolo-like wheeze reminded me

of when I was a child and my mother and father would take turns spitting into each others anus. Because I was mature for the age of 6, I was allowed to watch from time to time but