A prisoner in a chicken suit? Silicon.

A prisoner in a chicken suit? Silicon.

A turd in an Armani suit? Trump.

He set out to stop national blueberry pie day and national good poetry reading day. Trump was simplistically aware that poetry and pie meant falling asleep face down in your slice.

Trump often approached random women and shoved his face into their pie. Mostly Boston Cream and Cherry. Then he would tweet poetry: That Pocahontas has very, very good pie!

Once when Trump was in Russia, he paid a couple of hookers to pie on him. Because you know in Russia woman don't just walk around carrying pie like they do in the US. Then another

thought struck me... surely his preference for Russian pie over American pie would lose him the election. But even though his pamphlets were in Cyrillic and he threw blinis at his

babushka, he won no Brownie points with the Russians. In fact, the babushkas wiped the blinis from their faces and decided to rise up against their tormentor. "Borscht the bastard"

Said the Russian bartender. It felt like being aboard the dreadnought and savouring the experience of being in the middle of nowhere. Vladimir Lenin was pleased with everything.

He started to cry when he saw the doillies under the 3 feet of the ornate samovar. That is what made him realise that Beria must have him locked up in a dark hole in the Lubyanka.

He discussed the matter with Beria and Beria agreed a dark hole was imperative. Together they toured the Lubyanka and selected a suitable dark hole. Down he went.