I had the weirdest dream the other night.

I had the weirdest dream the other night. I dreamt of a big fluffy spaceship manned by little fluffy aliens. Everything was pink and smelled of marshmallows. The aliens looked like

a box of Grays, if someone had thought to make Grays into Peeps. They didn't have individual environment suits -- instead they floated about in packs of eight, sealed inside

some kind of crystaline membrane. The greys' eyes were cold and cheerless. Like they were frozen mouths sucking all the warmth around me. My chest collapsed. My breath had

fogged my helmet. The heads-up display became a ghostly play of lights. I felt cold. The ECS was failing. How were they doing this? I pointed the surveying laser in the grey's eyes

And the grey looked all right. And he had a map in his hands. Of where, I didn't know.he said, follow me. I did.

After several hours of walking, we stopped. The lank in front of us was bloody red. "They been here." he said. "Then we better get hurry."

Hurry was the only hairdresser I knew that could get the red out of our hair, and quickly. With a flurry of bleach and conditioner, Hurry was able to remove the auburn without any

blood. "Yea sorry about that" Hurry pointed to the pile of bodies in the corner. "They're for the pie shop next door." I paid for the hair coloring. I left swiftly for the pie shop

unsure exactly what kind of pie has hair in it. Look, I'm sorry but it's one thing to make pies out of dead humans...what? It's too much to ask for the pubic hair to be shaved

"But it adds texture. MAN-IG-FEEK!" Paul"s Pubic Pies was a huge success. Became a billion dollar franchise. We were sued left & right though. I am pennyless & my name isn't Paul.