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My 83-year-old mother covered her mouth with

  • My 83-year-old mother covered her mouth with her liver-spotted hands. Her eyes twinkled gleefully. "Yes...yes I did," she giggled. "I called him 'Mr. Dildo' by mistake!"
  • I was in shock when I notcie my mom, who I thought had sex only once (to have me), would know terms like dildo, 69, among others. Last week she called her cat "Mr. Lube".
  • Yesterday my geriatric Mom called collect from Ghana. She'd met & married an 18 year old local called Kwesi & was now pregnant as she'd been eating powerful herbal infertility leav
  • es. I told my Mom to calm down. "What kind of leaves?" She said, very slowly "Pay O Tee". Ah, that explained it. I knew Mom was just down the road at Pleasant Pastures. She thought
  • about how clowns are really weird. The thought randomizer clicked. The aliens surgically implanted it in the base of her skull. Every time she got close to a full conclusion, boom
  • ! Her eyes turned into silver lights. The aliens specifically added this special edition to the randomizer for these special reasons:
  • 1.Silver lights sanitize the silverware. 2.Silver light eyes came up in a poem by their greatest writer Wombuxmorpho the Malignant. 3.Silver Eyes were extra special. 4. In Plutonia
  • Gaslighting is not allowed and deemed to be worship of Shomigomy. Xephelius decreed that in AD1532. You can Google this and confirm everything listed here. 5. In Saturnia nothing
  • but cartoons. Tennessee Tuxedo was my favorite. That is all I can say on the subject; please do not ask more of me because I can not help you. I won't. Now go away. See you on Sund
  • -quist's yacht. Don Sundquist was the 47th Governor of Tennessee, and sometimes wore a tuxedo but knew nothing about Tennessee Tuxedo or any other cartoon penguin. Philistine.
Started
2013-04-26 00:07:28
Finished
2017-01-11 13:12:09

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Jan 11 2017 @ 13:14

    This is just bizarre from start to finish, and I adore it.
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jan 11 2017 @ 16:56

    Agree. PP, your Mom sounds like a very interesting person.
  3. Avatar

    PurpleProf Jan 11 2017 @ 22:50

    Absolutely true story! Her financial planner... Mr. Ditto...is known as Mr. Dildo to my mother, who is now almost 87! What's better, first name is Richard. Of course, she calls him Dick.

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