The Sun has feelings too, you know, just

The Sun has feelings too, you know, just like you. He is just too polite to show them. He doesn't want to be one of "those" stars. It is what it is but he doesn't want it not to be

what is isn't. It isn't, no matter what you might have heard out there between the galaxies doing your thing. Whatever that thing was you were doing out there. I'm not asking for y

our Club Noumenon secret dark matter shopping corridor access code for discounts on alien spa experiences and postmaterial fashions, I'm only asking, if it wouldn't be too much t

o be able to get discounts on things we could actually use? I mean, Spa's and Clothes are nice and all, But have you seen the price of groceries here? I demand a better discount or

I'm taking my cheap arse to the dollar store. The food may be full of lead, but at least I don't starve. I may go blind, but at least I eat. The fancy-schmancy expensive stores can

human flesh & sell it as bully beef, but my dollar store can't afford the cadavers, so at worst you'll end up eating dog meat, which is anyways considered fine cuisine in certain

animal kingdoms. In truth, the suspicious-meat-factory was on the brink of fiscal collapse. And as the owner, I had a duty to fix this monstrosity. I knew what I had to do:

meat based vegetables. It was a stretch to be sure, but impossible burgers be damned, meat your doom! The suspicious-meat-factory couldn’t take another scandal like the

pigeon crisis of '87. Perhaps it was time to hire a marketing company to promote the mystery meat tacos that were packed and ready for distribution.

The marketers promoted mystery meat tacos as being just that. “Take a bite,” the voice over cooed, “and revel in a SECRET sauce.” More often though, customers reveled in diarrhea.