"I was always good at starting fires!" Bobby

"I was always good at starting fires!" Bobby said proudly, backing away from his latest endeavor.

"I was always good at putting out fires! So damn you, Bobby!" Billy shout back at Bobby, and they start trading punch.

Unfortunately, Billy's punch was spiked, and so he began telling Bobby how much of a good friend he was and how much he loved him. Bobby looked on in horror as

flames violently erupted from Billy's crotch; Billy was too drunk to notice. Bobby wondered whether he should intervene, or let the fire take his friend in the name of Christ.

"This is fucking crazy," Bobby thought as he grabbed the pot of ramen noodles and dumped it on Billy's crotch. Spontaneous human combustion is something he'd read about but he

never thought that it would happen simply from noodles to the crotch. And he was right. The noodles slid gracelessly down his leg. Looking mildly annoyed he said

knife, that was when I realized this tailor was no peasant, he could probably be a

King in his homeland. After I realized that I've been so rude to him said "I'm so sorry sir but your nose, your nose! It's so big and red I just want to cut it off with a

knife". The King could not appreciate this honesty and killed me right on the spot. Which brings up the question as to how I am writing this story. I am not, you are. DUN DUN DUN!