"How many bullets does it take to kill this

"How many bullets does it take to kill this machine?" Doug said as he finished the clip into my Honda Accord. "It looks so much more easier in the movies" Doug said as he reloaded

. The car, along with the neighbour's front yard, exploded in a fiery blaze. I was taken aback because all I wanted was to get some car insurance money--I certainly did not ask

to have a third of Homeland Security parked on my stoop. "I do NOT work for ISIS!" I screamed for the umpteenth time "I just wanted to collect on my burnt car! Pl... glug glug..."

They submerged my head in the toilet over and over. "Admit it you ARE and agent of ISIS." "No it's all my insurance company's way of keeping me from getting my claim pay out! Glug

ged I. Suddenly, mid-swirly, the thugs up and disappeared. I was alone again in the DMV bathroom. You know the one - the world famous DMV at the corner of Hurry Up and Wait.

It seems their DMV philosophy extended into the bathroom where one stall has been broken since the first Shrub's presidency. You have to grab their pamphlets to wipe. They go early

, so grab a few for later. You might need them. Then tip the bathroom attendant and proceed down the hall to the meeting room. An orange jacket will be provided. You can check your

Concealed paraphernalia at the door along with your attitude. Neither will do you any good here. Also you may

not sit on THAT chair. Defiant, he walked to the chair and plopped down. The ejection spring cushion activated immediately, as did the roof opening. He flew up and out. “Told ya."