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His hatred for reggae was only outmatched

  • His hatred for reggae was only outmatched by his love of weed. To solve this problem he moved to Jamaica to become super high but also kill reggae artists from the inside and
  • smoke one with his idol Husain Bolt. Little did he know that Bolt was also a part time reggae artist. And so he was caught in a dilemma. Kill his idol, or get high with him?
  • Get high with him, of course. And when Bolt subsequently failed an Olympic drug test, he killed himself out of shame. But there were more musicians in need of death, like
  • Waka Flaka Flave. Big Lion was happy to oblige, "Yo, I can't even understand what ya sayin', But keep it up and in my belly you'll be layin'! RAWR!" Justin Beiber was next in line.
  • He knocked the socks off the judges with his best rendition of a half yodel-half beat boxing rap medley consisting of Disney musicals from the 80s and 90s. He handed off the mic to
  • man with the longest freestyle beard. "And what are you going to sing for us today?" quipped the judges. "Yumpin' Yimmny!" he thought, "This isn't Whisker Fest 2011!" He hummed a
  • tune of verisimilitude and attempted nonchalance about his exquisitely groomed vibrissae. Then he burst out into the extended version of the "Meow Mix" song. For a cat, he yowled
  • wonderfully. For dog ears, specifically a sheltie, that was another story. The sheltie had to find his master's dictionary and look up "verisimilitude" and "vibrissae", and said
  • "Bow wow yay yippy yo yippy yay, bow wow yippy yo yippy yay. I love Scrabble!" as he pushed the last letter into place with his paw. The sheltie looked up longingly at his master
  • and was given a treat. It is amazing how with positive reinforcement you can train a dog to do anything. The sheltie scrambled out the doggy door returning with the newspaper.
Started
2011-05-27 12:18:44
Finished
2012-12-07 20:59:23

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Zetawilk Dec 07 2012 @ 21:17

    "Vibrissae" is an uncommon synonym for "whisker" for those who don't want to look it up on TheFreeDictionary.com. There are other words I wish we had synonyms for. Like "tongue". "Glossa" and "lingua" don't even sound like proper English, and "clapper" just sounds like blatant slang to me. One can't simply invent new words, and I suppose people just expected not to go into details about such things. WE'LL SHOW THEM.
  2. Avatar

    PurpleProf Dec 08 2012 @ 08:00

    I have to admit I did not look up vibrissae, although if I had I may have gone a different direction with my fold. I was lazy. Since joining FoldingStory two months ago, my vocabulary has increased substanuously. But I won't go into detail about that.
  3. Avatar

    Chaz Dec 08 2012 @ 10:08

    "You'se gotta sheltie that plays Scrabble? That's smart!" "Not so smart, he forgets to put a 'Q' on a triple letter score."

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