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Christmas shopping ideas for my spouse: undersized

  • Christmas shopping ideas for my spouse: undersized green bikini briefs with a red bow around my 'package'? Surprise minivaction to local hotel with wellness pampering for two?
  • Or...a gift card? My wife would love a Walmart gift card. Nothing says "Merry Christmas Darling" better than a Walmart gift card, right? I could still give her my package too.
  • But that cost money. Hmmm... How 'bout discount coupons for an oil change? Our car could use a tune-up this winter and my wife would see how thrifty I am! Christmas gifts are so
  • -cially accepted means by which to tell your spouse how you really feel about them. Maybe a weekend getaway trip would be safer after all. I fired up my computer and searched for
  • a trip to the Tower of London. I booked the Renewal of Vows package at the church there - at the very altar where 2 of Henry VIII's beheaded wives were buried in unmarked graves.
  • I stared at the unmarked graves in silence, pondering what to do next... then it hit me! I needed to
  • dig a little deeper to unearth the source of the sound of this silence. I took a sip of my Zombie cocktail. Another epiphany! If someone gave me a hand we could put our brains toge
  • ther in a punch bowl with some electrodes and nanosprinkles and REALLY have a party. But the scene was full of deadbeats and losers, shuffling around, bumping into things, dropping
  • their DNA encrusted bits onto the floor, and sneezing them into the air. I had to hold a poodle to my face just to escape the encroaching didactic pungency of the room. That is whe
  • n the poodle let loose of its opinion of the whole matter in great whooping gusts that culminated in me cackling and spraying the room with scatological canid wit.
Started
2014-12-15 13:00:18
Finished
2014-12-25 08:43:00

4 Comments

  1. Avatar

    lucielucie Dec 26 2014 @ 14:21

    My fold was based on a true story. We were taking the tour of the Tower of London and we were in the church there. The Beefeater was telling us that the beheaded bodies of 3 executed queens were buried under the altar. 2 x wives of Henry VIII whose marriages ended badly & another one. Plus the bodies of 2 Catholic saints are buried in the walls in 'unknown locations'. Anyway the church was full of flowers & he explained that it was perk of the job that beefeaters' families got to get married in the church & one was taking place that day. It's the Last Place on Earth anyone would choose to get married surely.
  2. Avatar

    zxvasdf Dec 26 2014 @ 15:28

    Well, maybe it's a spiritual thing. Probably a bit pink of me to say this but, y'know, it's like saying vows there would ward off potential beheadings in the marriage.
  3. Avatar

    BlastedHeath Dec 27 2014 @ 14:04

    Cool story, lucielucie!
  4. Avatar

    lucielucie Dec 29 2014 @ 07:00

    :-)

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