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I'd arranged to meet Ronnie 'OMG' Delaney,

  • I'd arranged to meet Ronnie 'OMG' Delaney, my ex business partner & part time cockroach at the Leg o' Mutton on Lambs Conduit. He swung in wearing a leather trench coat & flat cap.
  • Ronnie 'OMG' Delaney bruskly ordered a gimlet. Grim, disheveled, hardened, he looked like a tombstone who'd had a nightmare.
  • Picture that. While you try to sort it out, Delaney's already on his second gimlet 'this time with a green olive dammit'. The bartender surreptitiously squishes a roach on the bar
  • and Delaney glares at the bartender. "You think you can hide that? I can see your whole life, even what you forgot." A tricked-out roach with glowtats tries to calm Delaney. "Hey,
  • at least you don't glow in the dark. Try searching for scraps under a black-light. See how long it takes before The Man squashes all of your best intentions." The roach's words
  • echoed all around, the cabinets and underside of the fridge grating them an anthropomorphic Power. They fell upon deaf ears, however, as his hapless listener instead chose
  • the slow, unwitting suicide of his listening apparatusi.In mute,he couldn't fully absorb monstrosityas every inanimate object turned into faces,presumably exhaling groaning horror.
  • The chair that took his weight was crying out in pain, and the clock on the mantelpiece was glaring at him. The radio continued to belt out "Monstrosityas" as its gears burned out.
  • Was he this dark an individual? What colour was his aura? He had to find out, so he rang the nearest occult bookstore. His old friend worked there.
  • His old friend DEATH, who confirmed the aura was the colour of blurple, not dangerous at all. DEATH itself had the Darkest Aura, so he should know. He hung up, reassured.
Started
2014-12-06 11:33:44
Finished
2016-06-20 14:03:25

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jun 20 2016 @ 21:21

    Blurple. Please describe in 3 words.
  2. Avatar

    mojozu Jun 21 2016 @ 11:38

    Blurple (noun, colour): purple, not quite. That's my personal definition. It's actually from Community. Dan Harmon is great!
  3. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jun 22 2016 @ 11:37

    Well, the story makes my Funsnuffler turn blurple. I liked seeing Delaney in action again...
  4. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jul 20 2016 @ 05:47

    For the uninitiated: The whole roach tale... http://foldingstory.com/xabnz/
  5. Avatar

    BlastedHeath Jul 20 2016 @ 21:06

    And another variation: http://foldingstory.com/gbmqf/

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