A young married woman was burdened with the

A young married woman was burdened with the problems of married life and approached her mother. Her mother took 3 pots of boiling water. In one she inserted a carrot, in another

a pair of lobsters she had picked up at the local crab shack. The lobsters roiled unfortunately in the hot water as her mother stated "Now see here. No daughter of mine will be cau

-tious when heading to a clam bake. It was one of those Massachusetts things where the wind was clear and Mama Lorraine was chortling along with

the audience. The clam bake turned much more fun when Franke spiked the Kooch with some extra strong, but oddly tasteless, LSD. "This clam is biting me!" one frightened attendee

So there they all were clam baked & hooked line and sinker by shroombate, flopping about on stage in their scaly costumes under a spangled Nevada sky when a UFO landed & Neptunians

boiled them all in a huge iron cauldron. They turned to the shroombate. "Master Shroombate, we of the ancient race of Neptunians shall perform a traditional Nep tune, & ask you to

lie on this pyre as we light the sacred fire below you." Master Shroombate got nervous. He looked around at the circle of Neptunians. "Is that safe? It doesn't sound safe at all."

"Sure it's safe, Shroombate," the Neptunians reassured him, "and if you get too hot you can rest on this bed of wild rice." The rice looked nice and fluffy, and Shroombate was

exhausted from his 2,000 light-year trip from Sylacauga. He wanted to rest, and that bed of wild rice was too inviting. Shroombate fell asleep; the Neptunians boiled water. Yum!