The morning after: She nuzzled up to him

  • The morning after: She nuzzled up to him and then licked him with her raspy tongue. We woke with a start. There was an enormous capybara in his bed.
  • She smelled like a giant wet dog. The Capybara said, "you know I am the largest rodent on earth?" That's when the Lyger smiled...for a long time and said, "You know I am the
  • only animal in this neck of the woods that eats Capybaras?" The Capybara gulped. "Then why haven't you eaten me already?" The Lyger slowly answered, "Because I need you to
  • keep breathing at least until he comes.. you're worth nothing but you're worth even less if you're dead, and for some reason or other he needs you; the King" The King? Why would he
  • need me? Surely they knew the King was actually dead....
  • he had pounded his scepter against the floor one time too many. The floor gave way, and the King fell through the marble, throne and all. Did they think I could match his despotism
  • ? I asked myself. Perhaps I could? After all, in my previous job as a vacuum cleaner repair man, I'd always leaned towards the despotic when dealing with my clients. "Bagless!" I'd
  • scream right into their frightened faces. "They SUCK!" No wonder I was fired from that job. Now this new job I'm thinking about might suit my explosive personality much better. So
  • that's how I became a professional job tester. And an entrepreneur, because this way I am also self-employed. I get hired, I push people's nerves and I rate the job by how long
  • it takes for the anonymous death threats to escalate into a genuine attempt on my life with a hired Moldovan hitman. My record is 3 days.


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