The morning after: She nuzzled up to him

The morning after: She nuzzled up to him and then licked him with her raspy tongue. We woke with a start. There was an enormous capybara in his bed.

She smelled like a giant wet dog. The Capybara said, "you know I am the largest rodent on earth?" That's when the Lyger smiled...for a long time and said, "You know I am the

only animal in this neck of the woods that eats Capybaras?" The Capybara gulped. "Then why haven't you eaten me already?" The Lyger slowly answered, "Because I need you to

keep breathing at least until he comes.. you're worth nothing but you're worth even less if you're dead, and for some reason or other he needs you; the King" The King? Why would he

need me? Surely they knew the King was actually dead....

he had pounded his scepter against the floor one time too many. The floor gave way, and the King fell through the marble, throne and all. Did they think I could match his despotism

? I asked myself. Perhaps I could? After all, in my previous job as a vacuum cleaner repair man, I'd always leaned towards the despotic when dealing with my clients. "Bagless!" I'd

scream right into their frightened faces. "They SUCK!" No wonder I was fired from that job. Now this new job I'm thinking about might suit my explosive personality much better. So

that's how I became a professional job tester. And an entrepreneur, because this way I am also self-employed. I get hired, I push people's nerves and I rate the job by how long

it takes for the anonymous death threats to escalate into a genuine attempt on my life with a hired Moldovan hitman. My record is 3 days.