I am a simple girl, I have but one fantasy.

  • I am a simple girl, I have but one fantasy. When my mother opens her mouth, I wish I could just shout "BORING!" Just cut her off in mid-sentence when she's telling me about
  • how she was raised by wolves and the ways of the forest. My mom would go on and on about the alpha males and hunting packs. (Blah. Blah. Blah.) A girl can take only so much.
  • I snapped. "If you know so much, how come you married the omega wolf?" Dad was lying in a ray of sunlight leaking into the den, howling drunkenly. Mom fought back tears; her hands
  • wringing tightly. She had just finished dishes, too so they were making that squeaking sound. I hate that sound. "SHUT UP, MOM!" Dad started giggling as he was wont to do. So
  • much for a normal evening in our household. No such thing. So I wasn't surprised when Dad suddenly grabbed Mom from behind, threw her over his shoulder & began singing selections
  • from "The Magic Flute". Mom's kicks and screams really added to the performance - a particularly well placed kick allowed Dad to reach coloratura range - the "Queen of the Night"
  • was Dad until he lapsed unconscious. We continued to torture our parents with public domain recorder tunes while Mom screamed, "I wish you'd been castrati!" She flailed in agony,
  • But what was she to me? With her tupperware parties and ceaseless poker nights, my mother had never really been present for our childhood. Sometimes I looked at her and couldn't
  • believe she has the audacity to call me her child, or even have a say in any matter of my life. Nevertheless, I have come to accept these things as they are, for if it weren't for
  • her, I'd be richer than the Wolf on Wall Street and since the love of money is the root of all evil, I guess you could say that in some sick, weird, twisted way, she is my savior.


  1. jefforama Jan 17 2015 @ 17:36

    No way. Ha ha!

  2. PurpleProf Jan 17 2015 @ 21:42

    Good job, my little jefforama...

  3. SlimWhitman Jan 18 2015 @ 04:31

    You completed the foldingstory circle of life: http://foldingstory.com/neltq/ Welcome to the fold.

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