"Nothing gold can stay," wrote Robert Frost.

"Nothing gold can stay," wrote Robert Frost. Perhaps he was moved by golden boardwalk fries in the clutches of a seagull. I brought a notebook to the beach, expecting inspiration.

Instead I got a lot of smirks from the folks carrying Apple products. I've always felt that the Apple people are really smug.

I bet they feel pretty special. Not that there's anything really special about Apple, not really; little more than a super-specialised subset of any other premium product.

But with chagrin I admit people are willing to pay high prices for over-hyped design products. I went with this concept & ordered R&D to design a solar-powered mole hair clipper

but R&D misunderstood me and made hair clippers for blind burrowing animals. Luckily, the population of people with pet moles was greater than we anticipated and the product was a

great success. However, the solved plight of the visually impaired rodents of dapper persuasion led me to my own distress, as I grew addicted to gambling. So much, that I was to

accrue a debt so massive that a paramilitary SWAT team was sent to collect it and before I knew it I was hiding from helicopter searchlights and living on the streets.

I hid as vans with loud speakers blared, "Citizens be viligant for scofflaw. Debts must be paid!" Jackboots marched from door to door. Parking ticket?

My neighbor, Jay Wok, made a run for it from his garage, sprinting down the sidewalk full speed, his tags having expired. A parking maid drone darted from out of nowhere, firing a