A matter of degrees is how I characterized
- A matter of degrees is how I characterized the whole affair. At the end of the day there was a point tally to determine which of the men was allowed to bathe the zombie women, & fo
- r how long. That way, it would be fair for everyone, as nobody wanted anyone to be washing the zombie woman for too long. Of course, nobody wanted her to become too clean, because
- who ever heard of a clean zombie, starched & pressed? But when it was Oswald the Stylist's turn,he washed her tenderly, manicured her nails,did her makeup & gold-tipprd her tooth.
- "It was really hard to find a green that matched your skin-tone," Oswald told the zombie, "but I just used eyeshadow." Oswald held the mirror up and the zombie began to weep dryly
- "Enough," interjected Oswald almost crying himself, "you need to practice your diction." "The brain I crave is plainly not in a grave," the zombie woman repeated over & over.
- Oswald Higgins (Great grandson to Henry) was apoplectic. "No, no, no ANNUNCIATE!" He grabbed the zombie woman by the shoulders. "You won't be accepted in high society unless you
- speak correctly." "Um, don't you mean enunciation? The way of articulating words clearly and distinctly according to the rules governing the language." The zombie rolled her eyes a
- nd they fell from their sockets:"Shdop dockin zho mush & buy me dring." So he took her to a bar that served to zombies & ordered a human arm martini. "Gotta check my traps," the ba
- bartender said, As he had an extremely thick russian accent nobody could understand him, If a person yells "YOU SOUND STUPID" to him he would smash vodka on their head.
- Obviously, this hurt and (in the words of the great, late Tommy Boy) it was going to leave a mark. But at the end of the day, everyone just let it all go & cried "Za Zdarovje !"
- Started
- 2017-08-07 22:52:13
- Finished
- 2018-06-08 13:32:48
7 Comments
Want to leave a comment?
Sign up!
PurpleProf Jun 08 2018 @ 13:34
Title of this story: "At the End of the Day"
Woab Jun 08 2018 @ 16:56
So many clever lines!
LordVacuity Jun 08 2018 @ 17:36
Cool, there is an end of the day on both ends.
SlimWhitman Jun 08 2018 @ 20:33
Cool Story. Credit to Shabadu666 for taking it to the next level with Taming of the Shrew reference. We have a few other nice Zombie lady stories around, some even have multiple parts: Wanda Zombie? http://foldingstory.com/lj9sv/ The Zombie Queen http://foldingstory.com/37l9d/ The Zombie Nurse http://foldingstory.com/8wczi/ The Zombie from Crazy Woman http://foldingstory.com/8wczi/
LordVacuity Jun 08 2018 @ 22:15
I thought Shabadu666's reference was to Shaw's Pygmalion or the play based on it, My Fair Lady.
SlimWhitman Jun 09 2018 @ 03:54
Duh, yes. Higgins' somewhere in Foldspace there's a reverse Pygmalion.
Woab Jun 09 2018 @ 10:14
Shabbadu and IceSquad's lines were hilarious.