Zombies are functioning members of our society,

  • Zombies are functioning members of our society, just like you and me. Now I don't want to hear any complaints about prejudice, because after all, we are all equal. Except they get

  • less rights, because they are zombies. That doesn't make me prejudiced or anything, just stating the facts.

  • I'm an excellent fact stater. Pride and prejudice and zombies don't necessarily go together. While I was pondering such things, a zombie couple shuffled over. "Getting to gnaw you,

  • " they moaned ironicly. "Good one." I repled unenthusiastically. "Rude!" said the Mrs, Zombie as they shuffled away. I loooked up and shouted at them, "Hey! Your STENCH is rude!"

  • Having already lost Mrs. Zombie's attention, my shouting only attracted the other zombies who hadn't had the blessings of my armpits yet. I didn't trust my armpits to protect me to

  • -tally, but were certainly the focus of my body odor, which seemed to also serve as my body armor. As the zombies approached, I bore my armpits at them, and they shrank away

  • in horror, their rotting lips curled upwards in disgust. The fetid stench emanating from my armpits repelled all of the rancid, decaying zombies until I was standing alone in the

  • showers. I never should have joined the Herbert West High soccer team. I'd heard that bullying was rampant among the undead, but I hadn't been prepared for their unyielding cruelty

  • , the kind that pushed them to use my scrotal sac as a soccer ball replacement whenever the zombie felt like it. How can positive thinking help me now? I'm surrounded by

  • totally lifeless, mindless freaks...and they have high positions in the government...no soul, no heart...cell-less blood coagulating inside them, every inch. We're all fucked!



  1. Flopp Dec 10 2018 @ 04:46

    Join us in the 2020 elections when the Zombeez National Party inevitably takes control of government.

  2. ValkyrieGrrl Dec 20 2018 @ 22:18

    Flopp...wait, hasn't it already?

  3. LordVacuity Dec 20 2018 @ 22:32

    They won it but haven't yet taken control. Looks like they might have missed their chance.

  4. Woab Dec 31 2018 @ 14:32

    HEY! We got over 100 likes on this story! Happy New Year, my dear fellow story-folders! Congrats!

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