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It was beyond weird. Ever since I had clicked

  • It was beyond weird. Ever since I had clicked 'engage haptic feedback' on my phone everything I touched vibrated upon contact. It took some getting used to but my girlfriend was
  • suddenly a fan of pulse dialed international calls to her kitty. She purred under by touch. But my vibrato fingers had other less desirable effects. My work at the Three Mile Islan
  • d had mutated my mouth. I had a normal mouth on the outside. But inside my mouth, I had strange fleshy receptors that allowed me to eat electricity from exposed wires.
  • I'd always wondered why the same electricity makes ovens hot and fridges cold. My mouth receptors tasted the electrons going to the fridge. They were crunchy & icy.
  • I then coincidentally electrocuted myself. But no matter, the fridge's electrons tasted like a blue raspberry slushie. I moved on to the oven. I stuck my tongue into the outlet.
  • Mmmm...vanilla caramel. I went a little AC/DC with all these delicious electrons flowing. My circuits overloaded, though, when I wrapped my lips around the busbar. I'm currently
  • operating as a replacement capacitor in a ViewSonic VP191b 19-inch LCD monitor. It's dark and thundery inside, and you never know where your next electron is coming from, but
  • electrons are all the same. At least I thought so until I was selected to be in a man-on-the-street product comparison TV commercial. Pacific Gas & Electric had two electrodes set
  • onto my head. It was weird. As soon as they started interviewing me about electricity, the moment I said anything that could possibly be damaging for their company, I was
  • hurriedly shushed. I couldn't lie anymore. "That's it!" I screamed. "The truth is, this company doesn't make electricity...it's a cover for a national cannibalistic club!"
Started
2011-12-29 19:06:40
Finished
2014-08-24 04:54:11

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Sophia Aug 24 2014 @ 04:55

    Trust me to get cannibals in here, one way or another.
  2. Avatar

    Gibber Aug 24 2014 @ 05:02

    I had written "taste test" but changed it to "product comparison" at the last moment. Not that it would have helped.

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