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After a long day at work, Mike

  • After a long day at work, Mike
  • decided to go home. On the way home he
  • licopters appeared in the night sky "thup thup thup". He ducked down an alley, "crunch chonk crunch chonk crunch chonk chack!" His peg leg was trapped in a storm grate.
  • A woman with a wooden eye noticed him and asked if he'd like help. "Would I?! Would I?! Hell yes!" "Screw you peg leg! I got it in the war!"
  • "Wouldn't you love to...in your dreams." A Dutchman wearing wooden shoes looked up."Ja, did someone call me? Ja, I would!" The wooden-eyed woman's heart was splintered
  • and knotty but suddenly a rattle was heard from inside the heart. The whole crowd ahhhhed and started crying. The Dutchman reached up and stabbed her through her wooden heart.
  • Sawdust spewed from her wooden heart. People screamed as the Dutchman dropped the knife and backed away slowly before running. "Get him!" yelled a wooden cop, and the chase began.
  • He'd been framed and the true illegal whittler had gotten away scott free. As he rounded the bend the wooden cops on his tail. A fire broke out between them. Flaming Jon to the res
  • Cue once again. Pinewood Perkins, the sherriff of Nottingham Forest, lurked in his ghost car. The cat burglars were able to vamoose to parts unknown. Flaming Jon pursued
  • errant stinking badges in the Sierre Madre Mountains. There he found a motherless story. It was so thin, only 10 folds long. He unfolded it and it turned out to be THIS VERY STORY.

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