STEVE'S CAR BROKE DOWN,a note on top of Gail's

complicated by her her tourettes. Whenever she went into tunnels, she felt her lungs collapsing but then she screamed the most heinous invectives. Once she went on "It's A Small

You fucking motherfucker World" ride. That's what we called it later when we talked about the incident and the beating at the hands of the security forces in their elf costumes

. The Lollipop Guild (their words, not ours) really gave us a good pounding. They were some sick puppies. We think they were

sorry about their aggressiveness, but didn't quite know how to express it. So we served them pancakes and jam. Seemed more fitting, somehow.

They calmed down and proceeded to waffle down the breakfast. We offered some OJ but they just snarled at us. It is hard to run a B&B with barbarians at the gates. That afternoon,

the barbarians attacked and overran the little cottage in Napa. Surprisingly they decided to keep it as a bed and breakfast for ogres, trolls, and wood elfs. All the fauna laughed!

What troll or orgre would pay good silver coin for something he could pillage by brute force?But to their surprise "The Homely Hovel" was a success. The descaling beauty treatments

helped them look good so they were not angry all the time

, but it wasn't easy. "I look hideous!" Medusa wailed. "You look fine," the stylist cooed. "Really," she snapped, "then why do you never look me in the eyes when you say that?"