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Vampires in Helsinki COME ALIVE!

  • Vampires in Helsinki COME ALIVE!
  • I was walking slowly through the disorientated crowds of tourists with my friend Martha when I noticed the stage show 'Vampires in Helsinki COME ALIVE!' lit up in LED lights
  • and fizzy fireworks & stuff. Vampires were marched into a mystical healing fountain under the Vegas stage. The hick near me asked, "Some kinda fuckin' Buddhist turtle under there?"
  • "Of course there is," I replied, "Haven't you seen the big finish yet?" The vampires joined hands around the fountain and chanted "buddha-turtle buddha-turtle buddha-turtle
  • ." The red velvet curtain parted & a kickline of buddha turtles appeared, glittering under the stage lights. A full orchestra struck up "Hey Big Spender." The vampires' eyes gleame
  • d like jewels in a fire. The vampires had not come for the festivities. Revenge. They wanted to serve it ice cold to the other monsters. They'd snuck something very dangerous into
  • the buttons of their cardigans -- something the lesser monsters might discover smugly, but it was only a well-calculated misdirection by the vampiric boy band who sought to cleanse
  • their closets of wool sweaters, especially cardigans. It's a lesser know fact that vampiric boy bands are as allergic to wool as they are garlic. They're kind of sheepish about it,
  • but ewes know how vampire boy bands are. So when they were forced by their manager to wear the wool sweaters for their next appearance, they were understandably nervous, itching to
  • show every toothsome turtlenecked boygroup isn't from Liverpool & with songs like All you need is Blood, Transylvanian Wood & Happiness is a Warm Neck they were bigger than Dracula
Started
2013-05-11 18:09:44
Finished
2014-01-26 11:19:49

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    lucielucie Jan 26 2014 @ 13:21

    My line is from the Swiss (I think) Eurovision entry from DJ Bobo in Helsinki in 2007. He came out on wheels dressed as a vampire & shouted that. Great Eurovision moment & I'm surprised I can't find it anywhere on the internet :(

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