I am an invisible mangonel.
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I am an invisible mangonel.
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With some surgical tubing and an ice-cream bucket, my friends and I could catapult fresh fruit from blocks away. Our neighbors would be pelted by kiwis from unknown locations.
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It was a riot and we were all aflutter. Then it grew stale. So we constructed a trebuchet from some scrap wood and yarn, using my younger stepbrother as a counterweight. We flung
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poo better than the monkeys, but my stepbrother was building up a serious grudge while getting all the splashback. Our merde trebuchet made our fort impervious to attack, until
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The language police got wind of it. Pun intended. The odour police were called to help fold the story after a long wait for the next lines. Madame Dujardin used it as fertilizer
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and since it was full of crap, her bed of budding stories flowered magnificently into a bouquet of riveting tales. There was the Swashbuckler, the Mystery, the Comedy & the Tragedy
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Each a classic, told time and again. The names would change but the Comedy would always go well, the Tragedy would end in death. Mysteries were her favourite to tell, after dinner,
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in the lounge with a brandy in one hand and a screwdriver in the other. The butler, whose buttling skills were second to none, said, " Sorry to butt in, but were you planning
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on adding a flying buttress to the Cathedral of Butte while wearing that bustier? God forgive that I, a mere butler, should deign to question your sartorial kinks but I don't think
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that my professional manner can handle an instant more of this charade!" And with that, the butler turned and left, taking only the silver service with him as severance pay.
6
- Started
- 2012-04-09 17:41:44
- Finished
- 2017-05-30 11:19:24
3 Comments
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SlimWhitman Jun 03 2017 @ 03:33
He took only the knives, actually.
LordVacuity Jun 03 2017 @ 03:53
So what happened to the rest of the service?
jayursus Jun 07 2017 @ 17:03
It was melted down for silver bullets when Monsieur Le Conte D'Organdy, Mme. Dujardin's reclusive neighbor ,contracted lycanthropy and needed to be dispatched with extreme prejudice.