I was awoken by the sirens blaring dangerously

I was awoken by the sirens blaring dangerously close to the ditch I was residing in. Dazed and confused, I fumbled for my cocaine and pants, neither of which were where I remembered

The cocaine was predictably gone, probably to the same place as my purse and cellphone, and all my clothes were neatly piled on my bare chest. I had some new scars too.

I wake up from the floor my vision blurred & was struck by a stinging headache, nearly stumbled and fell but i hold on to a something soft to brace my self, as my vision cleared i,

saw a tall dame standing over me with a hammer. "You crazy broad!" I shouted, holding my head with one hand as I tried to find my hat. "How dare you smash my noggin with that!?"

"I don't care about your noggins. I just came here for the ladies. Now, you scumbag, show me the way to the castle", he said with a very cocky voice. Who does he think he is?

He is certainly not funny just because all his jokes involve adding vodka to an activity. Once in a port-o-potty he had a boda bag of Smirnoff and

Russian nesting dolls which were each filled with vodka. Yes, vodka, but that wasn't what was amusing about the anecdote. In the port-o-potty with his boda bag and smirnoff, Henry

gave the drink some extra tang.Henry's drink was popular among the camping protesters on Red Square, keeping them warm in the bitter nights & giving them courage before the tanks

rolled in to pick them up and take them to the Siberian beauty pageants. Oh boy, you needed some of Henry's liquor to get through that charade. How many times could one llama

be crowned Siberian Llama Beauty Queen?!? Henry passed around liquor hoping no one asked that question within earshot of the judges. He had a million dollars riding on the llama!