Finished Folds (1—20)
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4John felt like crying. They were his, and now this man in the blue suit and funny hat wanted them! John broke into a run, his curtain-turned-cape flapping in the breeze as he
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2damn near an amnesiac once he came down. We'd tried before to get him to change his ways, but huffing household products had turned him from a kind compassionate man into a roaring
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4t haters camp, and it was unfortunate, I think, that people had often told me I had an uncanny resemblance to George Lucas. I barely had time to raise my paint gun before they were
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6a bottle of whiskey and two notepads and I began to learn all I could from the charismatic wingflapper. I, in my scientific way, observed that after two glasses of whiskey, he
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2The tenant, meanwhile, was happily fapping while listening to the lesbian orgy through the paper-thin walls. At that moment, however, a ninja burst through the window, naked except
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2hillbillies in the world couldn't have held me back from my true love: extreme naked water-skiing. I quickly left the house after logging out of Facebook, and I never looked back.
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4my finger into the light socket. The ensuing shock was enough to fully power up my mechanical exosuit, and the surge breakers stopped the electricity from harming me. I stood up
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3But more than that, he needed a cup of coffee, and the best place for that was Joe's Roastery. He strolled across town in his invisible shoes, prompting passersby to stare in awe
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2The LSD was starting to take hold, and my thoughts and actions seemed disconnected. I was stumbling angrily through the streets, pushing bystanders aside and wishing I wasn't a
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2The man in the hat spit on the ground contemptuously. "He's telling the truth," he growled, resigned. "He doesn't know anything else about the warehouse. You know what to do."
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4indifferent to the proceedings. He sat down on the rug and sighed, wishing he'd never left his job as a salami taster. It had paid well, and had good hours, but now he was a hitman
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3dryer, which had broken in the summer and no longer tumbled things by itself. It was hot and difficult work, but I didn't want soggy socks, so I persevered. But at that moment
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5furiously punching me square in the face. I groaned, my vision blurring, as she kept punching with the force of a thousand angry hippos. I caught her in the back with my knee, and
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6The Darkhelm Clan meeting had come to order. Sixteen of the most powerful wizards in the world sat around an oak table, wands concealed but always within reach. Nobody trusted
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9In fact, it was only thirty seconds before I stopped scoffing, because that was the amount of time it took me to trip in the foot-thick Persian carpet. "OOF!" I grunted, falling..
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5"Scarn!" roared the nefarious do-badder. "I'll make you a knuckle sandwich with extra pain," he screamed, rushing towards the oddly intrusive agent, fist outstretched, eyes blazing
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4saw a tall dame standing over me with a hammer. "You crazy broad!" I shouted, holding my head with one hand as I tried to find my hat. "How dare you smash my noggin with that!?"
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2eating candles, but no. The candle burrito sat atop my plate, and since I was at gunpoint, I had no choice but to eat it. I started slowly. It was disgusting, but what choice did I
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0She quickly realized that she also had the ability to shoot the foam that comes in fire extinguishers directly from her nostrils. After extinguishing herself, she smiled. "Time to
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1Geoff couldn't speak French. Not a single word. He regretted not learning it now, what with the angry French cannibals surrounding him, and he without a battle-axe! Thinking quick,