If you took everything you know, and everything

If you took everything you know, and everything I know and put it all in a big pot and then randomly took half of it out, you'd have

an explanation for how our daughter turned out. She has your conceit, but my looks, your ambition, but my abilities, your charm, but my B.O., your

gender, and my taste in gender, and luckily our OCD canceled out (thank Darwin!). I've already gone about modifying your DNA for our next child. Your conceit has been turned into

a bon mot. My modifications have improved your DNA, why the gamma rays, oh, are you mad? Don't be mad, you're eyes! You're skin, you're turning green. Oh god, what have I done?

"HULK SMASH!" I turned off the tv. Too many superhero shows and movies lately. Everything in life is recycled. The only truly original beings were the neanderthals since they had

not been injected by aliens, or at least some of them had but they are now humans. So what T.V really needs is a super hero show featuring a neanderthal. It could be called

and severely disfigured dong in his hands. His penis had been bitten by a radioactive Buddha statue when he was an infant and now the whole world could see the sordid after-effect.

He could never enjoy the pleasures of life that all the normaldongs got to enjoy. He could never go swimming, ride a bicycle, or make love to a woman, he contemplated suicide often

so he paid a visit to a local necromancer.For a good price(his soul), he expected nothing but the best and summoned Dr Kevorkian, Death's assistant,from the Seventh Circle of Hell.