Hold onto your seats, because I have some

Hold onto your seats, because I have some paradigm shifting research to report: mice in the wild voluntarily run in hamster wheels! You all realize what these means don't you?

A hand rose in the audience. "Surely you're not suggesting that we're genetically predisposed for the rat race, are you?" "Actually", the postdoc continued, "if you'll refer to

my paper, most people when offered the choice between a cheese sandwich and a blow to the head with a mallet, chose the sandwich." The postdoc clicked to the next slide. "The

slide here has nothing to do with my thesis. This is my sister Laura. She's available and she's got low self-esteem, we've been trying to paw her off on anyone," the postdoc said

with a deadpan stare. "Any takers?" Exactly fifty-three seconds of silence passed before a young med student spoke up, "What's in it for us? Does a date with Laura come with free

Passes to the surgical science museum. It had an exhibit on teeth in literature and art. I was curious, so I went there on the #120 bus, filled with tourists going there too. Fifty

ravens rushed past, and instantly there was a great shaking of the bus. The flurry of birds poured in from all sides, covering my vision. I slowly blacked out.

When i woke up everything was white. No i cant be dead! i said and then i jumped off a cloud to see if i was dreaming, I wasn't. I looked up to god and he said:

"Bonkety bonk bonk." I scratched my head. Those weren't the words I was expecting from the grand poobah himself, the rainmaker, the great Dude in the Sky.

"Watch out below!" he yelled and a golden shower descended upon us. It was magical yet, surprisingly, the mysterious fluid tasted bitter. Bear Grylls didn't mind at all.