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The lobotomist stood next to his patient,

  • The lobotomist stood next to his patient, saying "You're pregnant." Xenia was too sedated to feel anything and yawned. What was she doing here? Her mother scheduled the lobotomy

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  • as a joke, saying she acted like she had a half a brain anyway, might as well make it a reality with a scalpel. Mother often went too far with her practical jokes, but this was

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  • met with uproarious laughter in the operating theater. "Hey," chortled a surgeon "Do you suppose that with only half a brain she'll leave out every other word?" He laughed so hard

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  • he had to put down the scalpel to wipe his eyes as tears started streaming down his cheek. Now, that was really half baked humor. Seriously though the operation was to

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  • dissect Mr. Potato-head, stuff him with cheddar cheese, broccoli and sour cream, and then devour him, leaving only the tiny plastic face parts. "Towel please, nurse," said the

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  • head surgeon, Dr. Genitals. The nurse whipped off her towel, leaving her buck naked. She handed the towel to the Dr., who tucked it under his chin and proceeded to shmear sour

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  • cream onto the bagel. "Nurse, it is highly inappropriate for you to be without clothing. Here take this sour cream and cover up your sacred parts." Genitals demanded. I need to foc

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  • -us on the cro-, no, the bre-, no no, bos-- dammit! FACE. I need to focus on the FACE of the person in front of me! But I couldn't tear my eyes away from the nurse's revealing

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  • decolletage. Her skimpy teddy didn't seem, to me, to be proper dress for the operating room. The OR was kept cold so the nurse had her brights on. As the surgeon I had to look away

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  • and focus on the patient's heart.

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